Introduction

It’s 2011 and I arrive at a small island on the east coast of Peninsular Malaysia. I meet a sweet, tall, handsome Punjabi guy named Raja at the eco-resort I’m going to volunteer my time. He is there to volunteer too. He has a natural brain for languages and can speak six of them while I barely remember my high school Spanish. Over the hot summer on the island we become friends and eventually fall in love.

Fast forward ten years to 2021. Ten years together, a move from Malaysia to the United States, and we’ve now welcomed our son, Harneet, into the world. Ten years and I can still barely speak Punjabi. All-consuming work for many years, focusing leftover energy on our own little world of couplehood, and an ongoing terrible mental block in learning my husband’s mother tongue.

And now we have a son who deserves every opportunity to connect with that part of his identity and family on my husband’s side. I’ve done him a complete disservice by not becoming conversational years ago. He’ll be living in a dominantly English-speaking world peppered in with Punjabi.

Harneet is now three-and-a-half. Considering many factors for our family that I will share in time, we’ve done pretty well with both myself and Harneet learning Punjabi. However, neither one of us are fluent. We’ve done a lot of trial and error in our approach, but have had difficulty finding finding Punjabi language material that fits both my learning style and a toddler’s. I’ve felt quite alone and overwhelmed at times.

I’ve been frustrated on many occasions. That there is no Punjabi Miss Rachel. That many of the bilingual children’s books we’ve purchased have the Gurmukhi but not the phonetic pronunciation for someone who hasn’t mastered reading yet. That my husband is away for work most of the time so it feels like all the pressure is to make it happen. That my brain is already overwhelmed with motherhood and the Punjabi isn’t sticking in my mind. That I didn’t try harder years ago to learn Punjabi. That I get too shy to speak it with native speakers.

… Any other parents in my position get stuck in that thought cycle?

The good news is that in the past year I’ve been able to identify my mental block. I now have the right support. I now have the mental capacity to put in the work. I now have confidence that I can do this! I now embrace this! Harneet is embracing this in his own way.

The other good news is that I’ve been collecting resources, I’ve been creating at-home activities, I’ve been practicing. And it is time to share with other parents who on a similar journey. Stay tuned for upcoming blog posts!